(These jokes are provided to you courtesy of TGIF Jokes as compiled by Raoul Pascual. He is the priincipal of WYNK Marketing.)

Superbowl Seat
sent by Susan of Riverside, CA

Bob received a ticket to the Super Bowl from his company.

Unfortunately,when Bob arrived at the game, he realized the seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear blimp than the field.

About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an empty seat ten rows off the field, right on the 50-yard line. He decided to take a chance and made his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.

As he sat down, he asked the gentleman in the seat next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man said, "No."

Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob said to the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl and not use it?"

 

 

The man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl that we haven't attended together since we got married in 1967."

"That's really sad," said Bob, "but couldn't you have found someone to take the seat? A relative or close friend?"

"No," the man replied, "they're all at the funeral."

Job History
sent by Pam of San Diego

1. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned...couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

3. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it---mainly because it was a so-so job.

4. Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.

5. Then I tried to be a chef, figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.

6. I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

9. Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.

10. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

11. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit, because it was always the same old grind.

15. And last but not least.... I tried to work in a boat factory but it gave me a sinking feeling!

SO I RETIRED AND I FOUND I AM PERFECT FOR THE JOB!